(diaryland) April 08, 2010 - 10:07 a.m.

Builders have what can only be described as a big-arse Easter break so I haven't been plagued with problems and long conversations with contractors whinging about how hard it is to do one tiny thing this week. And because it's school holidays I've been hanging around at work longer.

So I've basically just been looking at every Chatroulette video or screenshot ever made. I now know who Merton is, and the large guy in the nice bra.

I'm not sure whether I actually want to go on Chatroulette, though. It's probably a hell of a lot like the experiences I had back in 1997 when I discovered Yahoo chat for the first time, when people would find out you're female and then ask you to touch yourself. I hardly met anyone interesting on Yahoo chat, but Roland and I would go on the computers at uni, chatting with people all the time. Day and night. Roland and I would go into the same chat room and I would always try to make people think that he was a large lady in a bikini. Good times, good times.

That wouldn't work on Chatroulette.