(diaryland) April 15, 2002 - 6:23 p.m.

The government must fucking DIE.

My phone got disconnected today. It is because I am a poor student (yet somehow I have cable TV and the water I drink isn't infested with swirly bacteria dust, so I can't complain too much).

I am a poor student because of CENTRELINK, the place where all Australians on welfare go to freak out.

There are all these stupid conditions you have to fall under to be able to get Student Allowance, the least important of which is actually being a student.

Five GODDAMN WEEKS AGO, I filled out a form saying I needed to get Student Allowance because I was a student and I had fulfilled all these other crazy requirements like providing photographic evidence I had walked on a tightrope across the Grand Canyon while carrying a seventy kilogram clown. They checked to see if I had filled the forms out right, and said, "You will be getting your payment straight away, mate!"

That was March 8th.

For the next five weeks I had to lick the floor for sustenance because I couldn't afford anything. I kept driving places and then abandoning my car because I didn't have enough petrol to get back home. I couln't even afford pens and stuff for school. It was shitty.

I kept ringing Centrelink. "I am dying of starvation!" I kept saying. "When will I get my payments?"

"Duuuuuuuuuuude....... I dunno. Soon." They kept saying.

I rang almost every day.

Today, I had a breakthrough, after being on hold for fifty-eight years. The guy said, "Didn't you get paid yet?"

I said, "Uh. no."

He said, "Are you sure?"

I said, "Uh-huh."

He said, "OH! I see. Finally they processed your form, but the computer thinks it shouldn't pay you because you never handed in the fortnightly forms it would have sent you if your form had been processed when it was supposed to."

I said, "///////////////___/////--?"

He said, "Run to your nearest Centrelink office before it shuts in ten minutes."

So I did. I got there before it shut and waited in a long bloody queue. Finally, some chick handed me the elusive forms. By the time I had finished filling them out, most of the office staff had gone home and I was the only non-staff member there. This meant when I went back to the reception, the desk was unmanned. I stood there, twiddling my thumbs in the dark, hoping someone would notice me.

Some office chicks did notice me from across the room and stared at me. I waved at them. They kept staring at me. Then they had a conversation about me.

"How did that girl get in?" They said. "She shouldn't be there. I saw a guy get in as the doors were closing and I had to tell him to get out."

They were FUCKING TALKING ABOUT ME while I was waving at them shouting, "HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

After ten minutes, I stormed over and said right to their faces, "Help me."

They STILL DID NOT RESPOND.

They must die.

Finally I spotted the chick who gave me the forms. She was stuffing her mouth with a lamington. She said, "pphwwwwf. I forgot about you. Sorry. pppphwwwwf."

I handed her the goddamn forms and she claimed I would get some money tomorrow.

We'll see about that.

I got back into my car and cried. I cried, man. I am a fragile lady.

You would too, though.

And that's not even including the phone disconnection story.

KILL.