(diaryland) August 12, 2004 - 2:06 p.m.

On Tuesday, the only thing I did at work was put a clear piece of paper into the colour printer, which melted it onto a particular roller thing, so we will now definitely never use it again. That was my whole day's work.

I think I will watch a live telecast of the Olympics opening ceremony. I like the Olympics. I like discussing uniforms and watching the athletics. I especially enjoy distinguishing between different types of people as per their events. For instance, when I flick on the telly and I see a lady who looks like a stick insect running up and down on the spot, I know that she is about to jump very high and then land on a cushion.

When I see a giant man with one arm which looks like it belongs to a comic-book superhero and another arm which looks like it belongs to a person who would read comic-books about superheroes, I know that he is about to use the large arm to try and throw a big stick as far as possible.

I love that shit.

This year, I especially want to watch fencing.

I only just remember the opening of the 1984 LA games. I remember somebody running around the track before lighting the eternal flame thing. I remember the constant breakdancing festivals in the streets. Good times, good times.