(diaryland) May 06, 2004 - 10:41 a.m.

Oh, dear. My piano playing is totally shit, and someone who I don't know on a website forum told me I was 'goal oriented' in my playing. They deduced this because I had mentioned I didn't get much out of a particular book I'd read.

I think they're right, though.

I don't understand how I can practice four hours a day and still be so shit in my lesson at university that my heart sinks.

The teacher says I am doing fine but I know better.

All I want to do is play something and sound really rad for once in my life.

Grumble.