(diaryland) May 10, 2001 - 6:21 p.m.

Yesterday�s entry was extremely philosophical, but fuck it; here�s another one.

I thought in early high school that there was something terribly wrong with me as I didn�t go weak-kneed at my favourite member of Take That. In fact, I didn�t even know who any of the members were. I remember watching the telly when I was ten or eleven, seeing the video to Epic, thinking, �Who is this Faith No More? They sound like a Red Hot Chilli Peppers rip off and frankly, the dying fish scares the shit out of me.� I was very young. I did have nightmares about that fish and the fact that the piano exploded. At the time, I got my kicks out of listening to Monteverdi�s Vespers of the Virgin Mary which I taped off the radio. It�s good.

But I really wanted to have stupid crushes on stuff. I tried, believe me. But then I accidentally went and saw the film Farinelli and it didn�t help at all. I was still stuck in Baroque land. Being obsessed with Matt Dillon looked fun. But I just couldn�t do it. The only thing I really, really liked was still my Vespers of the Virgin Mary tape. I could sing it all in Italian and stuff. I felt kinda weird.

Suddenly, one night, my parents were out of the room and I watched the Grammys or something. Whoomp, there was Green Day. I liked them a lot. I got all their records, which at the time was easy because there were only three. And I bought Hole and Supergrass and etc. and so I was content.

But I always used to get terribly bothered when Roland said things about famous people like, �I like so-and-so. They are awesome.� Hey, I thought. You are not allowed to have celebrity crush. You might as well be having group sex with all my friends and parental units. I did not understand. How can anyone say those things to their own girlfriend?

But now I have been a non-teen for a couple of years, finally I understand. Here are my three universal truths.