(diaryland) January 28, 2001 - 13:00:25

Today my small cousin Pericle got christened in a Greek Orthodox church. Here's a picture of the church.

As you can see, the church was nifty and cool and was covered in gold leaf and paintings copied from other ones in Byzantine churches. The only thing I didn't like about the church was the exhaust fan.

A man in white flowing robes came out and began chanting in a booming (microphone-aided) monotone in a language I couldn't understand. Soon, I discovered that he was actually chanting in English, so it made things a bit easier for me. Another man in flowing black robes sitting on a throne interrupted every now and again with a terse booming comment of some sort, and he kept wiping his nose and fidgeting.

Pericle's brand new godmother, Eva, had to hold him all the way through and it was pretty obvious she was straining. Pericle is a big baby. I'm talking big, man. Wrinkly, too, like those wrinkle dogs in toilet paper ads. He's a very nice kid, but when the white flowing robe guy started dunking him in water all the time, he began to get pissed off and started to cry. The white flowing robe guy also asked Eva heaps of times whether she renounced Satan. He asked at least ten times, sometimes a few times in a row. He had to make sure.

Then, there was a shitload of singing from the black flowing robe guy, and then the white flowing robe guy came out with some incense on a string and chased Eva and Pericles with it round the font. Everyone was happy, though. Then we all had to go and kiss Pericle, but he hated it.

All in all, I recommend Greek Orthodox christenings heartily, especially if they are in a cool church with exhaust fans. The good thing about these christenings is that it's required for you to have a feast afterwards, so I'm full now.