(diaryland) December 21, 2000 - 07:19:32

I went down to my room at 2:30 AM and I slammed into a huge thick rope-like web thing in my doorway. My doorway! I never gave a go-ahead for no spider to start building stuff in my doorway. I knew it was a spider that meant business because the rope stuff it was using was really thick and strong. I couldn't see it, though. I put on my pyjamas and decided that the spider would be really small for purposes of getting to sleep that night.

No such luck, man. I went to close the curtains and suddenly this huge black spider with white knees leapt off the top of my gas mask on my wall unit and onto the floor. I said, "WEEEEEAH!" and started to run and it ran after me. I think it was trying to kill me. It looked cute and soft and was probably harmless but because I live in Australia, people talk about dangerous spiders all the time so big ones always make me say "WEEEEEAH!" when they run after me. There was no hope of finding it that night, so I set up camp on the couch in the family room and watched Mad TV. I haven't been in my room yet today and my left side hurts a lot.

There is a moral to this true story of terror and I think it's to clean your room.