(diaryland) December 16, 2000 - 15:02:43

Since I last wrote in this here thing, I've been madly making cushions for Christmas for everyone because I'm skint but everyone will like them anyway because I sewed them myself. They're pretty cool, actually. They just take ages. I've also been applying for jobs in architectural firms. I ran out of firms to ring last week so I've resorted to ringing up famous architects and asking them for work. Well, I only rang one famous architect. He was scary because he was famous and he seemed very serious.

A few days ago, Roland and I were talking about how we'd done in school over the past year. He's finished a media course that he really enjoyed for the most part, and he did well because he liked it and because he wanted to do well. That's how normal people end up getting good marks.

Me on the other hand, I'm different. And this isn't good different. I got my best marks so far not because I enjoy my architecture course, not because I want to do well, but because I'm evil.

Let me explain. Do you guys remember when I got a big fat zero out of ten for an assignment? Well, naturally after getting my work back, I felt rage and confusion and wanted to kill the teacher with a machete. But, of course, I didn't. No. I did something far, far more evil. I plotted a quiet revenge. It was sort of like one of those 'the best revenge is living well' things, but it was more along the lines of 'study my arse off in a fit of bitter hatred' things. I was just scraping through on the assignments because of my damn zero, so the only thing left was the exam.

I never, ever work hard. Everyone knows that I'm lazy as all hell. I stick to the modified saying: 'if it's worth doing, it's worth doing badly', and that gets me through the day (usually). Therefore, my frenzy of study for this exam surprised everyone. The only thing propelling me on (apart from having some Tick comic books nearby) was picturing the face of the lecturer going through my marks at the end of the year and becoming mildly surprised that I'd done well. Mwa-hahahaaaaa, lecturer, I thought. I will mildly surprise you.

And I did. I must have aced the exam because I ended up getting an overall grade of a B. When I found out, I cackled and then went back to sleep.

So there you go. I have now discovered my secret to doing well. I am evil. But I am still better than Jennifer Love Hewitt, who is also evil.