(diaryland) September 29, 2000 - 10:17:18

For some reason, I went to the Melbourne Show this year. The Melbourne show involves a lot of rodeos, sideshow games where you can win flourescent toys, and dodgy rides. This year, I partook in them all.

First off, my family went on a search for decent food. This was surprisingly easy. I had a chicken burger from Nandos that only cost sixty thousand times more than it normally does, which was nice. The rest of my family ate asian takeaway. Then we walked around and looked at all the stuff there. There was lots of stuff. Stuff you wouln't want to buy, but do buy anyway. I was pleased that my purse was buried in the depths of my Dad's backpack or else I would have bought far too much stuff.

My first waste of money came about when I decided I needed to have a go at a sideshow game. What you had to do was to get a ball and knock milkbottles over that weren't too far away. I was under the ilusion that it would be easy. The man said, "Two balls for three dollars, or three balls for five dollars." At the time, this made great economic sense. So I opted for the three balls for five dollars deal. I picked up the first ball. It was soft, man. Like a foam ball. I threw it and it hit all of the milkbottles. The only problem was, the milkbottles were fucking heavy. They were like bloody rocks, and I was trying to hit them with the softest ball on earth. One of the milkbottles fell down. Then the man put it back up and I tried again. I threw the ball so hard, but only two fell down. Then he put them back up. The third time, I got one down again. I was pissed off. Stupid ultra-heavy milkbottles. I didn't win a flourescent toy and I was mad.

My sister had a go at a laughing clown thing and won some crayons.

Then we all went off in search of showbags. I bought one for my sister Lisa (who wasn't with us) that involved a lot of chocolate but I couldn't bring myself to buy one for me because they all looked too dodgy, though the showbag with the plastic swords and shields looked OK. I ended up buying an Ike from South Park toy, and I was content.

My sister Sarah and I had a go at the dodgem cars. She steered. I learned that she really can't steer very well. We spent most of the time going backwards and being yelled at unless I grabbed the wheel. But it's OK. She's only twelve.

Then my Mum and Sarah went to this place where there were going to be fireworks and waited while my Dad and I went to a grotty coffee place where they had TVs showing the Olympics. That was the highlight of my stay at the Melbourne Show. We watched a heap of athletes doing fast things while I sipped a latte.

Then we joined my Mum and my sister and we waited. There was a man on the loudspeaker who kept talking about stuff. Then some fire engines came into the arena and turned on their sirens. The men and women in the fire engines waved at us. I couldn't wave back because I had my hands over my ears, but it was OK. The men and women in the fire engines came out and turned on the hose and chopped something with a big axe. Then they went back inside their fire engines and went away. The man on the loudspeaker then said it was time for the fireworks. He said that Mr. Fireworks was asleep and we had to scream to wake him up, so we did. They played the 1812 Overture while the fireworks happened and the man on the loudspeaker told us to buy Sunkist the next time we were in a supermarket.