(diaryland) September 5, 2000 - 1:24:11

Good morning.

I thought I should provide an antidote to the last entry by showing you my badass side.

Because I am a badass. I defy authority. Check this shit out.

I was in the middle of the city, running out of Flinders Street Station. I wanted to cross the road. Ever since I got my licence, I've learned that to be a good driver, you must do many dangerous things and be extremely impatient. This philosophy has spilt over into other facets of my life, including being a pedestrian. SO, basically, I decided I really needed to cross the road and get to McDonalds as fast as humanly possible because I didn't want to be late standing in McDonalds in a big line and ordering a McChicken meal. Nosiree; didn't want to be held-up.

There were people swarming all over the intersection. I thought, "Cool." But then, the little green man on the traffic lights turned into a blinking red man.

I hesitated because there were at least eight police officers wandering around the intersection wearing exciting yellow vests and holding whistles. I thought they might not be happy if I began pelting across the road. So I waited. And then I thought, "What the hey," and I ran. I ran so good. I could hear the wind in my ears, the pleasant hum of the traffic, and the violent blowing of several whistles. I had upset the police officers. I crossed at the wrong time.

I swerved. I kinda ran back to the curb a little bit, but then I thought, no. I can do this. I can defy authority. I kept this mantra in my mind as I tore off though the intersection again. Those police officers whistled and whistled, but I was determined, man. I knew I could get through this.

I reached the other side of the road, defiant. I would have beat my chest and roared, but I was very hungry and continued running to the McDonalds. The joy of the McChicken burger had never tasted so sweet. Maybe someone had spilt Coke on it.

It was also a floppy McChicken burger. Come to think of it, the burger wasn't particularly good at all. But it did have chicken in it. Mmmmmm. Chicken.