(diaryland) January 30, 2013 - 12:36 p.m.

I had band practice last night, and then Paola's car got a flat tyre from driving into a beer bottle on the road, extremely slowly. It was a huge bummer.

But the band practice part was cool.

I don't understand how this happened, but...

This is what I THOUGHT: I thought my guitar playing was kind of gutsy. Kind of ballsy, you know? And I thought my singing was pretty manly. The sort of singing where people would think, woah, that's pretty intense. Yeah, I know I'm not a man, but, I still thought this rock band was pretty manly. I never really think of myself as a lady. More of a human who does whatever. I think of myself as a 'bro.' I think a lot of people feel like that, yeah?

This is how it is: I listened back to some of our recordings we had made in the last week or so, just before band practice, and I laughed. It sounds like some little tiny finches/robins playing little tiny instruments and singing their little tiny tunes as the sun comes up. In fact, during band practice, we were playing and singing and I just burst into laughter because the songs were so fuckin' cute.

This is not how I saw myself.

I'm starting to think the whole band even looks cute. I mean, there is a drummer who makes it under the five foot tall mark, a bass player with an innocent face who can stop a towing guy from towing her car away by saying, "Please don't," and there is me, who can't really say to what extent I am actually cute, except to say that I have very large eyeballs.

I will post another song up soon, as proof.