(diaryland) October 05, 2002 - 6:58 p.m.

I saw the most wankiest play ever last night, man.

It was awesome. I have learned to embrace that which is so wanky it's kinda disturbing and hilarious.

The play was a one-woman deal named The Desert. It was so retro. It was so Royal Shakespeare circa 1966 as far as I can tell. I mean, this chick had the painted white face. She had the stripey top and the red a-line dress. She had the leggings. She had the bare feet. She had the saying something that seemed meaningful bits. She had the freak-out-grabbing-her-other-wrist-for-no-apparent-reason-and-groaning bits.

The best part was when she hit herself on the head with a rolled up newspaper for an inordinate amound of time. The other best part was the fact that I had no idea what the fuck was going on for the whole thing. I even didn't know when to clap at the end.

She also couldn't open this stage prop door. That was part of the story. She kept running up to it and slamming herself against it quite loudly. I thought it would have been neat to go down there onto the stage and just point out the doorknob, open it, and say, "Here you go," and wreck the whole play.

It was seriously the best play ever. Roland and I were just giving each other looks like, "Is this for real, man?"

Also, we were both wearing leather jackets and we both had whistly noses.