(diaryland) January 21, 2002 - 4:38 p.m.

People keep doing things to my car! It�s scary!

a) In Adelaide, I had to park my car in the middle of the city overnight. I was really worried about it. There was a bunch of expensive stuff in my car. The next day, horror of horrors! Some clown had wedged a soggy, used sparkler under my windscreen wiper. People had been touching my car! And worse still, they�d probably been dancing around it with their stupid sparklers and stuff. I could just imagine these Teenz with huge lime green pants putting the sparkler on my car at 4AM thinking, �Dude, this will get the owner of this car to lighten up! Maybe she will join us in our team of techno love freaks!�

b) A few nights ago, at about 1AM, Me�shell dropped me off at my car, which was lounging around near the city for personal reasons. I was worried about my car because it had a lot of expensive stuff in it. Then, horror of horrors! Some clown had carefully placed a bunch of flowers on the hood of my car! Blue and white Agapanthus! I recoiled. Me�shell tried to make me feel better by saying, �Hey � maybe there�s someone hiding in your back seat." GREAT!

Maybe the techno love freaks were following my arse all over Australia. "Dude, maybe the flowers will let her know we still care."

Why me? Why my car? What's the attraction? I hurt now!

Drunk ninja is master of disguise!