(diaryland) September 16, 2005 - 12:01 a.m.

The Australian Labor Party is in biiiiiiiiiiiiiig trouble. More than usual.

They remind me of some sort of Byzantine dynasty, where people cut off each other's hands, poke out each other's eyes and kill their kids and/or parents in order to get near wearing a gold spangly hat for a bit. This has been going on since at least the 1980s. Boy, they were interesting times.

They would be the sort of political party I would make up if I had a chest cold and was dreaming disturbedly about something. I always vote for them.

I can't wait to read Mark Latham's diary. I think Mark Latham is excellent because he always says something that sounds very uncomfortable; the exact opposite anyone else would say. I think he's like your favourite character in a classic novel translated onto screen by an actor known for their evil spy roles. What a guy. I really wanted for him to win that one time, but he said something about wanting to keep ancient and irreplaceable trees around and all was lost. I think the trees were lost, too.

Anyway, if the Labor Party collapse into dust any more than they have up until now, I'm going to feel a bit upset. If there was a retro Australian version of the Black Panthers who didn't discriminate against women, then I'd vote for them (however, they fought amongst themselves probably even more than the Labor Party do).

It is my birthday on Monday. I hope I get a badge with Elaine Brown on it.

I bet they don't exist, though. There are probably four million badges with Malcolm X on them.