(diaryland) April 19, 2005 - 10:40 p.m.

I was back at Diane's house (my old house), experiencing cable television all over again. Diane was making me some form of dinner, so I madly channel-surfed in a valiant effort to see as much obscure telly as possible in a tiny amount of time.

So I switched onto a channel, and I saw a grainy video of some man who suddenly got his entire head stuck in an elephant's arse. I think he was trying to clean its bum maybe. But, anyway, his head disappeared all up in there. And the voiceover said, "If you know this man, please contact us. There is a five thousand dollar reward for anyone who can identify him."

Then, the credits rolled. The whole thing took about twelve seconds. I'm still thinking to myself, WTF?!?!?!?!

I really should look in the TV guide next time I'm over there.