(diaryland) August 30, 2004 - 2:52 p.m.

On Friday, Roland, May and I attended Jon's birthday/housewarming extravaganza, in which he received a banjo.

Because it was such an overcrowded extravaganza, we had to squeeze ourselves into the back corner of the backyard, next to the rubbish bins. I ended up having to sit on a very tiny square of timber in the middle of what might have been a compost heap. I did this for an extended period of time.

After a while, I noticed something was not quite right about my nether regions anymore. I stood up, and to my surprise, my vagina had actually gone to sleep. I shit you not.

It was the weirdest feeling in the world. The whole thing had gone to sleep. I don't know if this is a world first.

I sat on something different afterwards.

Also, beforehand, we were talking to some random wasted fellow. I mean, the conversation was slightly awkward, but then it got more awkward when he decided to consume LSD in the middle of it. I thought it was kind of rude. It was like he was effectively saying, "The only way I can enjoy your conversation is if I get you to change shape and colour a little bit." I didn't know what to say after that because I felt really boring.

Oh, well.