(diaryland) July 26, 2004 - 3:03 p.m.

There was a gaggle of old ladies on the train today. They said things like, "What happened to her leg?" "She hurt it playing table tennis."

"They're either too hard or too soft."

"A two dollar coin (laughs)!"

Meanwhile, while the train was sitting at Flinders Street station, an unrelated old lady was walking down the platform. She was smothered in tartan. She was wearing a blue-and-green tartan blazer, and a clashing blue-and-red tartan pair of trousers. It was hideous and overpowering. She should only be wearing that if she wants to be a C-grade stand-up comedian.