(diaryland) July 01, 2004 - 11:17 a.m.

I played in my very first piano competition. I played, or at least attempted to play, the first movement from Sonata Op. 10, No. 1 by Beethoven.

I was third, out of about thirty-four. The person who played before me was 9. This threw me slightly. The tiny, rotund child played a 'modern' piece which was very noisy and full of notes. It sounded awesome, but I have no idea whether he was playing the right notes or not.

Anyway, after that, it was my turn. This was the first time I'd ever played piano by myself in front of a big audience. First of all, I got up onto the stage the wrong way and had to squish behind the piano. Also, I forgot to bow at the start. Apparently, you're supposed to or something. So, I adjusted the seat and sat down at the grand piano. The piano was a Schimmel. I have a phobia about Schimmels. I looked at the keys. The sides of each key were curved, which freaked me out. It made the light bounce off the keyboard in all sorts of different ways and make it look all complicated.

Then I began. I was playing away, thinking, "Wooh. This sounds kind of crap. I hate this stupid piano." Then I came to the first dramatic bit of the piece, and I played the wrong note really fucking loudly. It was this terrible wrong note, ringing out all by itself across the hall. I thought, "Uh, should I play the right note?" After much deliberation which in reality must have taken three nanoseconds, I decided I'd better play it. So I did, and it sounded lame. The rest of the piece sounded OKish, but nowhere near as good as it usually sounds. Normally, when I play it, it kicks arse. But last night, it only really kicked the arse of the kid who forgot how to play his piece and looked at his mum.

Anyway, it ended up that I got 86 out of 100 points which I thought was way too generous, and the girl who I thought would win didn't get any prizes at all.

I think I might do another one of these competition things.