(diaryland) May 13, 2003 - 3:15 p.m.

You know when the legendary milk spraying out of the nose thing happens?

The other day, Rosemary made me giggle a bit with a mouthful of coffee, and lo and behold, out the nose it came.

But it didn't spray. It just kind of trickled out for a very long time, unstoppable; unshakeable. I ran to the bathroom, cupping my hands under the evil nostrils.

After that, all I could smell was regurgitated coffee.

One time when I was small, I put a piece of rubber from my shoe up my nose, snorted inwardly, and it popped out my mouth. The experiment worked.