(diaryland) August 25, 2001 - 5:49 p.m.

I really miss the games my sister and I used to play on our old macintosh. Enchanted Scepters, Deja Vu, Fool�s Errand, Civilization, etc.

We�d never be able to finish the games because either the computer would freeze or we couldn�t figure out things or it was dinner time. But they were so cool. Lisa and I would draw out huge intricate maps of things that got so confusing we wouldn't be able to read it the next day. We�d turn into a drugged boxer who could barely remember his own name, some warrior guy who would inevitably end up in the middle of a stadium with a dinosaur, warlords, ghost-fighters, and so on. But we�d never manage to finish the games.

The only closure we ever got was with Prince of Persia. Weeks and weeks were spent strategising; getting the lowest possible time on the early levels so we had time to think on the later levels. We�d get chopped in half by those choppy things and I�d try not to barf. We�d drink weird potions and run around upside-down, trying to find a potion that would turn us back again. We�d get attacked by unruly skeletons until we were so good we�d throw them off cliffs without a scratch. Some fat swordsman stunted our progress for a bit, but even he, too got easy as pie to beat. I got carpal tunnel syndrome and I wrecked the keyboard, but we still soldiered on. We had to rescue the princess, y�know.

Then came the last level. Boy, it shat me. You had to run and leap and grab onto shit like a motherfucker. I don�t understand why I was never particularly good at any other computer game, Diablo excluded. Any game is just pressing keys. Anyway, I got so good at that shit. The reason why was because (and I�m sure everyone in the world has finished this game) of that DUDE. Yes, that DUDE. The EVIL DUDE. He was so evil, he could fight really well, and he had SO MANY life potions. Maybe even more than me. He�d just keep slicing and slicing me, relentlessly. Every time, I�d die. But then, finally, we kicked his arse. Boy, did we ever. We kicked his arse so hard, we actually finished the game.

We thought, "Wow! We actually finished a game? Whatever will happen now?" Surely something rippingly good, we thought.

But, dude. All that Aladdin guy did was run up and hug the chick he was rescuing. That was all. We got carpal tunnel syndrome for that? Bummer.

Even worse was when Roland and I finished Diablo. We killed the bad guy. Then we became the bad guy. Annoying!