(diaryland) August 7, 2001 - 10:38 p.m.

I shoved a bunch of crap into the boot of my car and zoomed off to May's house to pick her up for band practice. I was late. Real late. I overtook, swerved and turned sharply at all possible dangerous spots. I did horrific daredevil driving. I was young and free and invincible. I had a death wish. I was also not really particularly late at all.

I pulled up outside May's house, all puffed and sweaty. Fast driving makes you do that. And I thought, ooh, better get my mobile phone that's probably in the boot, you know, just in case May rang me a minute ago. So I walked around to the car to the boot, and what do I see? My GODDAMN MOBILE, politely sitting on my back bumper. Not even grabbing onto anything with its little grippy thing I bought it once. Nope, just sitting there. Minding its own business. How did it stay there on my hellish trip of evil pustulent demon driving? I do not know. It's cool, though.

Thank goodness no-one rang me on my trip over, because the car behind me would have wet its pants laughing if my phone had lit up in that inimitable way that mobile phones do. it would have been a bit like if I had toilet paper hanging out my pants, only more rare.