(diaryland) April 19, 2001 - 6:48 p.m.

If you hadn't noticed, I was very bored at work today and wrote STACKS of diary entries. Here's another one.

Sometimes, at work, there�s a phone call.
I answer it.
�Good morning/afternoon, blah blah blah blah.�
Then there�s a high-pitched beep.
�Hello?�
Beep.
�Uh� hello?�
Beep.
�Hm. OK. Bye-bye.�
Beep.

Either it�s a fax machine that somehow knows how to beep once every time you finish saying something, or else, it�s the best long-term prank call scheme ever. Or maybe it�s just some guy who can�t talk who lives on his own and just wants to hear someone say something. Whatever it is, it�s happened quite a few times now and I feel secure enough in our relationship to take it a little further. Next time it happens, I�m going to have a conversation with it. I still can�t figure out whether it is actually a machine and I�m just hoping it isn�t, or if it�s some guys laughing at me. I don�t know what I�m going to say to it yet, if or when it�s going to happen again, or how many people will be in the office staring at me like I�m some kind of loon when the first thing that comes into my mind to say to the machine is �wibble�, among other concerns. I don�t even know whether I�ll have the nerve to actually talk to it next time.

I mean, what does one say to something that may or may not have a lung capacity?

______________

Now here's a poem. It's fictional. I'm thinking of using it in a poem competition or something. Tell me what you think, punk.

The best revenge is living well

YESTERDAY YOU WERE veryhappy indeed.
phew I said to myself
you�ve a new number
& slick sandpaperhappy face
          I expect.
& preenpressed new self-esteem shirt
	&laughs&giggles
__all round            &no8year standnomore
	I expect.
I�M SELFLESS I�M SELFLESS in your face
& __________________________________eager.
oooooooooooh&on a can�t stand
&having godawful onmyOWN times 
off-colour& salacious
OH__!!! but I hope you made me up to be a white stick of nowfreegirl joy.
you�re very happy I�m selfless ampersand expecting
& been in bed for the weekend.
[	
wish you 
                  all the best	   ]
but  ,	 fingers-crossed you think I bought a car