(diaryland) November 29, 2000 - 05:26:28

Five things I don't like about science fiction

Wesley Crusher - this little snotty, bratty kid wrecks what is otherwise a fairly bearable show; that is, Star Trek - Next Generation. He's all whine, whine, whine and has the most hideous anal-retentive hairstyle I've ever seen. Wesley Crusher has the honour of being the one single thing I hate most in science fiction.

Yoda - Yoda is old. Yoda is green. Yoda is 'wise'. I hate Yoda. Now that he appears in the abysmal Episode I, kids who watch the films in order will no longer fall for Yoda's 'charming crazy dude' routine in that other episode (too tired to think which one) where Luke Skywalker bla bla bla.... I feel like a nob. But, anyway, why the hell can't Yoda be wise AND an amusing guy? As soon as we find out he's wise, he becomes ridiculously serious. I don't dig that shit. I like my guys to be all-knowing and funny. And definitely not small and green.

The way that aliens seem to look suspiciously like humans - don't give me that "but they all evolved from the same race a long time ago" nonsense. I'm not down with that. There needs to be more unusual-looking aliens in science fiction, like sentient balls of gas and really, really, really small aliens and just generally, more things that don't look like humans. Someone I know said once it seems that, in a science fiction show, if you just whack a blue dot somewhere on someone's face - voila! A whole new alien race!

Fan art - 'nuff said.

When things make noise in a total vacuum - they shouldn't. The noises the sound effects dudes use for their nifty spaceship models are always pretty annoying anyhow, so why not just eliminate them altogether? It would make some kind of scientific sense in otherwise completely inaccurate shows, man. Man.

I was going to record with my band today, but we decided not to. It's disappointing, but it means that when we do record, we're going to kick ass.