(diaryland) October 17, 2000 - 17:18:09

Lately, I have been inflicting lovely strange music on people.

I spent all of today inside, except for the parts when I was outside. But there wasn't very much of that. Well, come to think of it, I went for a walk today. I went for a walk to the shop to buy some tracing paper. It was A1 size. I got five pieces. So actually, I was outside a lot. And I was also outside with my violin, but I didn't play it there. I did, however, play it while I was inside. It's all very complicated.

My life is very complicated. I still have to breathe in AND out. My face is a bloodied mess, as is the norm when I am stressed. I still keep dreaming of killing my friends. I had a horrible dream a few nights ago that my Dad died of carpet burn, but I didn't have anything to do with it. I also dreamed recently that I had a talking cow as a friend, but I fed it potato leaves and it died. I wonder what I will dream about tonight. I hope I dream about a man lying down in a dark room. I hope he's alive. ________________________________ Eight minutes later: SHIT. Woah. I almost had a heart attack. I was twiddling my toes under the desk, and some of my twiddling toes hit some sort of thing. Then there was a horrible unearthly scream, and it wasn't me. Then I found out the noise was just a guy cooking on the radio. Thank goodness for that.