(diaryland) July 12, 2000 - 19:57:29

It was my sister Lisa's birthday today. I gave her three books about war. Two of the books are about the Second World War and associated war crimes. The other book is about women soldiers in history. I really want to read it. Maybe I should have kept it myself. There's lots of photographs inside of pensive looking chicks in uniform with moustaches pasted onto their faces. Damn, it looks fun.

My grandparents came over and we got to eat birthday cake. It was Black Forest cake. It was good. There was a shitload of cream on it, though. I'm not too keen on cream. I was happy because there were fake cherries on the top of the cake. No-one wanted to eat theirs, so they picked them off their slices and gave them to me. My Grandma said that fake cherries were made out of seaweed. That's really amazing. I know that red food colouring used to be made from beetles, and my Dad mentioned something else cool and unexpected about food, but I forgot what it was.

I ate all the fake cherries and sat wedged between my grandparents at the table for a while. Then I went to the toilet. I peed, and then I looked in the bowl. It was RED, man. The stuff in the bowl looked like concentrated red cordial. It must have been the fake cherries. I only ate about five, and they were only halves anyway. I wondered whether it really was the cherries, or the toilet bowl was red because of someone else's doing before me. I mean, I'd only eaten the cherries a few minutes ago. Maybe the colouring for the seaweed cherries is nasty stuff so my body wanted it to get the hell out.

I'm going to go for a pee now and I'll see whether it's still red.

..............

Nope, it's clear.