(diaryland) October 07, 2015 - 1:31 p.m.

The unborn baby's butt is destroying me. He keeps sticking it out in the same spot on my tummy every time and it fucking kills my entire right side. Can't even walk sometimes.

In other news, I have decided to revolutionize my car wave. you know, the 'thank you' one? Instead of a stiff, stern lifting of the hand, the sort of thing that has shades of dictator waves, I'm going to go for a wave that starts vertical, but goes on a 45 degree angle. I think it looks more jaunty and friendly. Instead of doing a hand movement that seems to say, "You have bent to my will. You will live today," my new hand movement is more like a "Cheers, bro."

Revolution achieved.

Roland experimented with a thumbs up thing for a while, but I said that if people weren't looking hard enough, that could just look like a fist or a rude finger thing. I think he gave up on his variant after that, but I'm not sure what he does now.