(diaryland) December 13, 2012 - 2:06 p.m.

People always say (and by people, I mean my reflection in the mirror says) that I have good skin.

Even though nobody really tells me I have good skin, I think I have good skin. It's just... good.

So I am going to tell you my skincare secrets. I will give you 5 "weird old tips", and you don't even have to go through an intense rollercoaster ride of credit card scam either!

1. If you don't know what the hell you are doing, don't do anything.
I spent most of my childhood and early adult years zipping around in a bird's nest hairdo and homeless man clothes. Sometimes, I still do. But back then, I didn't care about skincare, and I had no idea about it. I'm glad I just used a cheap moisturizer and nothing else, because some stupidly expensive stuff actually wrecks your skin. Especially stuff with fragrance. And most cleansers are the WORST, especially cheap ones. I see a lot of people at uni with angry skin, and it's because they don't know there is a minefield of damaging skincare products out there. I wanna tell them, but it would seem like I was trying to get them to convert to a cult or something. I mean, how do you bring it up?

2. If your skin feels dry/tingly/weird after you use a skincare product, it is bad for the skin.
You know when you use some cleanser, and your face feels fully tight, like a stretched balloon or something? It means your face is getting WRECKED. Mud masks and stuff do that to me as well. And often, they give me zits, because the skin is trying to make up for all the stuff it needs to have in it that just got removed. Like, moisture. I think cleansers are the biggest wrecked skin culprits overall, though. I use Neutrogena sensitive skin cleanser or something. Forgot the exact name. But a lot of Neutrogena is good. If you use it, you will notice your skin doesn't feel any different. But the cotton pad you might use to swipe off all the cleanser tells a different story. That mofo goes grey, man. That's the grey gently coming out of your skin. Realize.

I think it freaks some people out that their skin doesn't feel different after cleansing. But it makes me feel calm. All is good with the world.

3. Forget the scrubby type of exfoliating. Use AHA instead.
Exfoliating with some, I don't know - oatmealy stuff is fun. But kinda messy. And using some rubby thing gave me broken capillaries on my nose. So, instead, I use some orange liquid thing that contains 5% AHA, some super mild acid thing. I use it every night, because if you use it in the day, you are more prone to getting sunburnt.

The AHA liquid sloughs off dull skin cells somehow, so the skin seems kinda more fresh maybe. I think my skin looks fresh.

4. Always use moisturiser that's pretty simple and has sunscreen.
According to beautypedia.com, heaps of the moisturisers out there contain either useless, or harmful ingredients. Lots of expensive ones do. Like, if you look up an ultra-expensive brand like La Prairie on there, their zillion dollar tinted moisturisers get crappy reviews, becase they are full of crap. But something like normal Olay SPF 15 moisturiser gets rave reviews, because it's got what you need in it. Keep it simple, my brothers.

5. Avoid alcohol on your face.
Makeup can contain alcohol. I know Lancome's Teint Miracle has heaps of alcohol in it. That's not cool, though I still use it on special occasions, because it looks cool. But alcohol breaks down the skin. So best not to use it every day.

6. Drink lots of green tea maybe.
Dunno if this works, but I do it. I figure it does that anti-oxidant thing all the chicks on daytime TV are talking about. So this is a dubious one, but the rest are full-on actual good tips.

In China, they would write, "Warm tips."

I would upload a picture of my skin, but my phone is a fool.

One skincare tip I need to follow is: Get. More. Sleep.