(diaryland) July 09, 2009 - 2:27 p.m.

I was reading some random German blog and this guy was complaining about the bible. 2 Kings, chapter 2 specifically. It's pretty wild. This guy, Elisha, is doing a bit of smiting, etc. and then some kids yell out, "Hey, baldy! You're bald as!" Well, that's my interpretation.

Specifically, they yelled, "Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head!" In the olden days, telling a bald head to go up must have been pretty annoying because then Elisha looked at them grumpily, swore at them, and bears ran out of the woods and ripped 42 of the kids apart. Owies.

Then Elisha made a brief stop at Mt Carmel, then headed on down to Samaria and hung out there for a while. Job well done.

I'm not saying I make fun of bald guys with close ties to God, but I'm sure glad I didn't live in bible times. The whole old testament is spattered with incidents like that. Violent episodes explained in passing and weird rules with outlandish punishments.

I take it all back. I am living in ancient times. I'm constantly wading through insane forms I have to fill out (baffling rules), plus I now have to completely redesign this bloody security room that I've already designed maybe four times because some wall is not being friendly to me (cruel and unusual punishment). I am Sisyphus. That's me. At least I'm not biblical.