You think we're dancing? ... That's all we've ever done.

 

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(diaryland) February 06, 2009 - 2:50 p.m.

I felt weird on Monday, lost my voice on Tuesday, and I still feel like I'm actually about two seconds behind whatever my body is doing. I still worked the whole time, but there was a lot of being draped motionless over an office chair going on.

I was on the train today, coming back from the council where I had to pay two hundred bucks so they could give some people some letters I probably could have done myself but wasn't allowed to, and I was very still and very sick feeling. A guy across from me was feeling awesome because he was listening to Metallica on his iPod. It was the black album. It was so fucking loud. He mouthed the words and punched the air and did rolls on the imaginary snare. Then, when it was time for him to get off, he did a little dance at me, and then danced away into the crowd. I sat there, stony-faced, not acknowledging.

It's been a while since I felt like that about a song. I tend to wear out a song I really love by listening to it every day and every night for weeks on end. There's the odd song I'll get obsessed over immediately. Sometimes, it could be up to eight years after I first realise that I like the song. I think, "Hey, that's a nice song," and then eight years later I find myself obsessed with it for a tiny bubble of my life. I once listened to True by Spandau Ballet thirty times in a row. Now, if I put it on, I could just be cool, but back then, six months ago, it would have been a life-changing event, every time.

I'm guessing that this kind of stuff happens to everyone.

I think back on all of the songs I've worn out. There's not heaps of them. Maybe about twelve. Rest In Peace, songs I overplayed. I wrecked our relationship.




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