(diaryland) December 08, 2008 - 1:38 p.m.

Once upon a time, there was a guy who I think was in my prep class. Or maybe his twin was in my prep class. One or the other. They were fraternal twins. In grade one, they had to stand next to each other in class and the teacher explained the difference between identical twins and fraternal twins. That's how I learnt about the whole thing. They looked pretty different.

Anyway, I was kind of acquaintances with both of the twins and both of them were variously in my class or not in my class all the way through primary school. They also had a sister who would on occasion come to our school for a couple of days at a time.

The twins also ended up going to my high school. Just about everybody from my primary school did. They put all of us in the same class, I guess so we would feel OK about being in a big high school suddenly with all the people we knew nearby.

In Year 8 Home Economics class, we were assigned the same partner and the same bench every week. Rosie and I spent a double period every week opposite one of the twins and a guy who it turns out ended up moving back to Sweden soon after and later became a host on some Swedish true crime show or something. I found that out when he messaged me on facebook one time (he mentioned that home economics class so I'm thinking that fun was had by all).

Thinking back, even though we made some shit food and I accidentally ate a whole clove in a badly washed baked potato, that was a really insanely great class. We would joke around with the guys on the other side of the bench and talk and stuff and occasionally stir a bowl. We were pretty much left to our own devices; even more than in art class where we were all bunched together in a really small space with filthy long benches. Rosie and I nearly killed each other one time when we both turned around at the exact same time and came within centimetres of head-butting each other at high speed.

The next year, I remember I was standing outside waiting for maths class or some shit, and this particular twin said to me in the typical way that kids say completely outrageous things, "Are you frigid?"

I had no freaking idea what that meant. I thought it meant I was literally very cold. At the time, I was so not interested in boys. That did not really ever happen the way it happened to other girls. I was just into hanging out with Rosie and was totally absorbed in my own shit until Year 10 when I finally actually got a crush on someone, which I hated because it felt like torture.

But this was year 9.

I remember that this twin was good at cartoons. I liked drawing too. He would always ask me ridiculous questions but thinking back, he was actually quite a sweet guy. I honestly can't remember much about him though.

I'm not exactly clear why, but this particular twin had to leave the school at the end of year 9 but the other twin didn't. Once, he told me, "I don't want to leave."

On the last day of school, I passed my yearbook around so that everybody could sign it. One of the thousands of banes of my high school existence, a short kid called Ben, who all these years later inexplicably wanted to be my facebook friend, wrote "Buggar off bitch "[sic] in it. I had to correct his spelling.

The book made its way all around the class. When I got it back, I looked on the last page to see what everybody had written. I saw that the twin drew a really good picture of a face with a tear coming out of its eye and the words, written really small, "I will miss you."

I have no idea why, but I thought about it on Saturday night. I was lying in bed, trying to get to sleep, and it just popped into my head.

I thought about it in a different way to the way I had thought about it in year 9. Finally, I knew what had happened that year without me knowing. It made me sad. I felt terrible.

I wonder what happened to him.

He's probably fine.