(diaryland) July 17, 2007 - 9:16 a.m.

I went back to Primary School after the holidays. I was dreading it, let me tell you. I forgot the stench a grade one that possibly eats dirt can make when he farts continually in a small room. My grade six nemesis practiced Enter Sandman over the holidays, which was a small miracle. One child almost ripped a tooth out of her jaw in front of me.

It was actually fun.