(diaryland) February 26, 2007 - 12:10 a.m.

Last night, I was fucking around with a new webcam I got and finally went to bed at about 2:15AM. I always set my alarm on my mobile phone and I took that into the bedroom with me. I got into bed, but I was a tad worried whether I'd set the alarm right because I couldn't possibly miss my date with Rosie running up a number of stone steps in the forest with giant heavy pants on the next morning. And so, as I was snuggling down, I opened up my phone and made a few beepy sounds, just to check.

Then, a pre-recorded voice in the corner of the room said, "SHH! QUIET!"

It was up there with one of the most bizarre bedwetting moments of my life. Was there some guy crouched in the corner of the room waiting there all night, just so he could press some button on some sound thing if I happened to get noisy? This seemed like the only option.

The sleeping man next to me in the bed got up and turned on the light. I said, "What the fuck was that? Is there some person in the house, making things say things? I'm frightened!"

Roland said, "You're making it sound all scary."

Yes, it was.

I had to check to make sure that I didn't just dream it a tad. Yes, Roland heard it too.

Then, the corner of the room said, "SHH! QUIET! SHH! QUIET!"

Roland went to investigate. After rummaging around on some cluttered brown shelves, he found the reason. It was one of those books that has sound-making stuff on the side. It also said, "MMM, SOUP."

The adrenalin made it hard to forge my way into sleepy land.