(diaryland) March 21, 2006 - 7:52 p.m.

OK, OK, I have to explain blow-by-blow how I got so full today instead of writing about how I went to the Commonwealth Games. I might explain that some other time. How I gorged myself today is more important.

It didn't start in a very promising way. Yesterday, I washed a dirty bowl and spoon and put cereal (crunchy nut) in it. Things didn't work out for the best. I opened the fridge and found out there was no milk. So I just left the bowl of cereal there on the bench for a day with shrivelled bits of spring onion draped over it. I don't know why I left it right next to a jar of spring onion.

When I had the cereal this morning, it tasted really different to usual. It was thick and less effeminate. It also stuck to the bottom of the bowl because I hadn't dried the bowl properly yesterday.

I ate it all though.

After that, I had coffee.

Then I caught wind of a special extravaganza in food that was going to take place at my parents' house for lunch. It was because my uncle was in the country. He is an international walking expert, and he is watching walking race people's feet in the Commonwealth Games.

So, anyway, I knew I had to skip university for what was in store. I knew my parents would shower my uncle and anybody else in the vicinity with food. And hence, I swung by my house and picked up Roland and we headed on over.

I was right. My Dad had whipped up a mountain of meat. I ate sausages and potato salad until I could eat no more. Then it was time for my Mum's strudel. With ice cream. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

For some reason, then Roland and I went to Dairy Bell and I ate a mango ice cream in a waffle cone. It was delish, yet unneccessary.

I think we had an hour of respite until the dude across the road came over and whisked us away to the land of Springvale. I was introduced to the world of pho.

Pho is good. It is soupy, meaty and noodly. You chuck in things. You eat it with chopsticks and a spoon. You eat it until your tummy bursts with fullness. Oh, my lord, was I full. I still am.

I got to the point at which burping kind of brought up a bit of liquid. It was good because I kept tasting the food again. Yeah. Maybe that wasn't good.

My tummy won't recede.