(diaryland) January 05, 2006 - 4:08 p.m.

Somehow I got this reputation at university. It is apart from being the most frightened person to perform in piano workshop class. I go all red and shaky. The other reputation is that I've got some kind of photographic memory and I can just memorize anything and then play it without ever having to look at the music again.

I don't know how I got this reputation, because I don't have a photographic memory. I am pretty good at remembering how to play pages and pages of music, but the reason why I can play it all off by heart is because I practice it way too much, so I can do it without music as a by-product. It usually sounds crap anyway so it's never helped me much.

Anyway, now I'm feeling some sort of pressure, as if I have to memorize everything before class starts this year to keep up the illusion. However, I already accidentally have memorized everything.

Maybe they're right, sort of.

Oh, yes, and I actually practiced today. It sounded almost as if I'd never spent the last eternity playing a role-playing game on the computer instead.

Shit, maybe I am a genius.