(diaryland) December 01, 2003 - 7:37 p.m.

I had a most disappointing weekend.

The highlight perhaps was bribing Roland to rip his shirt open at the Hard Rock Cafe for fifty cents. He had a shirt on which was secured by press studs.

Man, the Hard Rock Cafe is a depressing place, especially when you're there for somebody else's work Christmas party. I ate some things. I also got to watch a Faith No More film clip on the televisions they have up there all in your face, which was nice. I can't wait to see Mike Patton make music right in front of my very eyes. This will happen on December 12th. I make a habit to see him at least once a year.

Um, I sound like a weirdo now. I just like the guy.

The worst bit of the weekend was seeing the Creepy Guy. I decided to go and pretend to see one of his gigs so maybe he'd stop calling my damn phone, asking me to come and see him play bass in his stupid band. I took Roland as protection. We went to the venue, and the Creepy Guy was standing outside. He didn't seem to understand that Roland existed. I said to the Creepy Guy, "Hi. We will see your gig, but first we will get dinner." I didn't let the Creepy Guy get a word in edgeways, otherwise we would have been there forever. Then we ran around the block and went home.

Also, that night, Roland got an ant in his bellybutton.

For some reason, for the whole weekend, I was very very surly, yet also horny, which is very unusual for me, because usually I am merely surly. I would not have been able to have sex, though, otherwise I may have conceived a child.

Today, I did a shit that smelled exactly like a baby's poo. It triggered memories of childhood.