(diaryland) July 09, 2003 - 8:59 p.m.

I'm reading Malleus Maleficarum because I like to read seminal texts or something.

More specifically, I'm reading it because at work there appears to be nothing better to do than read a book written in the 1400s about witch hunting online.

It's damn fascinating, though. These two German monks who wrote it way back then were crazy. It doesn't sound like a witch hunting manual. It sounds like a manual of their own sexual fantasies. They wrote about witches collecting penises and keeping them in little boxes. The penises liked to eat 'oats and corn', apparently.

Also, one time, a witch stole some guy's penis. He was mildly peturbed, and asked for it back. She said, "OK, but you have to climb that tree which houses my penis collection." So he climbed the tree and saw a big penis wandering around on a branch and decided he wanted that one. She said, "No. That's my special penis. It came from a priest." So he had to pick another one.

I guess even in medieval times guys wanted to improve their size.