(diaryland) May 26, 2003 - 9:00 p.m.

This happened on Friday.

Roland and I had just begun our trip to the city in my little dusty car. Suddenly, Roland needed to piss like a maniac.

"There's no time," he said. This meant my upholstery was in danger.

Suddenly, I remembered my car was messy. I got all initiative-like, and said, "Feel around on the floor for a coke bottle! Piss into that!"

Luckily, there was one rolling around on the floor. The only slightly disturbing thing about it was that it still had some coke left in the bottom.

No matter. The coke had to be pissed on. Roland whipped out his schlong and let rip while I tried to drive very, very smoothly. He somehow managed to turn off the flow right near the very top of the bottle, while I pulled into a supermarket. I told him to go away. He threw the offending bottle in the rubbish bin and got the dregs out of his little bursty bladder somewhere in the supermarket.

Then we went on our merry little way again.

The moral of the story is, always remind Roland to go toi-toi before leaving the house.