(diaryland) June 1, 2001 - 8:39 p.m.

Yesterday, I really felt as if I was in a movie.

I was in the car with May and Jon. May was in the front seat. I farted. It was hideous, yet soundless.

I tried not to panic. I was driving.

May said, "Hey. I smell sulphur."

I was all like, damn. I've been caught out. But I played it cool.

"No, I don't smell any sulphur," I said, valiantly. "None at all."

"Hmm," said May. "It really does smell in here suddenly."

I had a brilliant idea. There was a truck driving in front of us. There was no smog coming out of a spinning chimney on top but it would have to do. "Maybe it's the truck in front of us," I suggested.

She was skeptical. She paused for a moment.

"Maybe it's the car's heater," she said.

"Yeah, yeah, it's the car's heater. Definitely. Yep. Wow. You figured it out," I said, a little too enthusiastically.

But I think I got away with it. Do you?