(diaryland) March 12, 2001 - 09:52:35

I have a little problem. I get this inescapable feeling that I'm just a wee bit annoying. In a lot of ways.

For instance, I leave magazines all over the floor. I don't know whether Diane thinks that's a problem, but I feel like I'm naughty. I also leave dishes all over the floor, and scissors, shoes and other stuff. Does she find this annoying?

Does she find it annoying that I might play Ministry really loudly in the car when all she ever listens to is the Monkees? I'm only trying to help her out and get her musical knowledge at least into the eighties. But one time I played Faxed Head in the car and she accepted it. She hated it, but she accepted it. I try to think of songs she might like that will magically make her like everything I like. "Here is a song you might like", I say, and play her a P J Harvey song, and she will say, "Yes, it's fine, Clare". I do this a lot. I try to explain to her that NWA has its merits while saying that Bon Jovi hasn't got any. That's a bit contrary, but Bon Jovi sucks, man. Well, at least, nowadays he does.

And sometimes I make her watch reality TV shows. And I'm not sure whether she likes them or not. Sometimes I don't think she likes Temptation Island. But I make her watch it. And sometimes I put the knives on the rack the other way. And sometimes I change stations on her radio. And I'm always disagreeing with her because I think she's too dismissive of just about everything. And I like to argue anyway. And I don't clean the bathroom quite enough. I think I'm upsetting her world. And I'm a wee bit scared of her. And I'm annoying. Tonight when she comes home from work I'm going to be playing Brujeria in the front room while making dinner. I'm fucking annoying, man. But maybe if I play it while doing something nice for her, then she will like Brujeria too. It will be all like that Pavlov's Dog or whatever.

That's just Diane, man. There's so many other people that surely I'm annoying to. But I won't go into that as it would be too annoying.

Roland said 'moot point' yesterday. It fucking rocked.