In one deft swoop, my social life has gone all askew. There's a girl called Tulip, the nicest person you could ever meet, and she's a uni acquaintance. I saw her today, but she had REALLY SHINY HAIR, and she doesn't usually have really shiny hair. It's usually semi-gloss. So I didn't recognise her. She was standing inside a hairdressing salon, so that kind of explains why her hair was slinky.

So, anyway, I was walking past in my enormous horrible toothpastey jumper (but I was wearing cool pants), and she waved at me enthusiastically. I was all like, "wha?" because I was sleepy, and as you know, she had REALLY SHINY HAIR so I was confused. I thought this was a chick I didn't know waving at someone else. After the smallest amount of time, my brain clicked and my Tulip file appeared in my head. But it was too late. I turned around, and did this kind of low, guttural moaning sound which was meant to be a "Hey!!!!! How are you doing?!?!?!?!?" but wasn't anything like that at all. In my heart, I knew it was too late. So I turned back and walked on. And that was that. But I just feel so torn up inside, man. She probably thinks I hate her, but she's ever so nice. She probably doesn't even have a toothpastey jumper. Man. Rahh. You know those stupid memories you have when they suddenly pop into your head years afterwards to haunt you and you think, "Oh, man! I suck hard. Why am I a blubbering incompetent fool?" Well, this will be one of those memories.

I saw a girl from high school I hadn't seen in years yesterday, and thank goodness, I recognised her. We took the train home together, and we were talking about all the people from school we knew and what they were up to now. She mentioned that she was now working with this guy who was my first 'crush'. What horrid connotations that word brings up (ahhh, the sweet smell of butterfly juice! the lovely quiet pitter-pattering of glittery girly magazines! etc.). I hate the word crush. But that's what it was. So there. And it ended up with me hating his guts.

But I was vainly trying to make conversation and I casually mentioned about how I knew he once wanted to be an FBI agent. And she said, "Hey. That's funny. I must mention that to him and see what he says." I'm all like, "Shit. Please, no." in my head, because I don't want anyone to mention my name to him. That would be not nice. Maybe. But I didn't say anything, because you know. I didn't want to be all crazy. Because she had no idea that I once had a crush on this dude, so I couldn't just tell her not to.

So I'm all paranoid about that. But, hey. I'll never see him again, hopefully. Even though there have been two sightings of him since high school finished. And one of those was last week. Oh, well.